I got my first article published… in a national paper!
It’s such a weird feeling! On the hand, I was so excited last night, I couldn’t wait to get up and buy the paper. When I opened it up and saw my name there, in bold no less, I was deflated! Even now, I feel lethargic. I feel exposed, naked and I can’t take the piece back. I feel committed, like my fate is out of my hands. What if some psychopath takes offense at what I wrote and hunts me down?
The last time I felt like this was after I proposed to my then girlfriend (now wife) and she said yes! She was so excited and the happier she got, the darker the cloud over me grew. It was one of the worst days of my life. Again, I felt trapped and as though I was no longer in control of my destiny. And it’s not as though I didn’t want to marry her. I knew she was the one, I knew I wanted to marry her, and I hadn’t been under any pressure to propose. All the same, the fear! Fortunately, I felt great at our wedding!
But back to this issue, I got what I wanted and had something I wrote printed in a newspaper. I don’t know if the article is any good. I know I liked it a lot more before it was published. I wonder if it’s always going to be like this.
Who knows, next time I might even get paid. When that happens, I’ll start calling myself freelance/independent writer/journalist. Or maybe I’ll just stick to Tsuro.